Conan the Barbarian (1982)- Iron Age King

A cult classic stumping the critics.  Arnold Schwarzenegger, as Conan, was at his best form.  The #1 movie of its warrior/sorcery fantasy niche.  Conan is the hero of the Robert E. Howard novels, considered the father of the science-fiction and fantasy genre, until his death in 1936.  Way ahead of its time, Conan literature didn't get widespread fame until the 60s.  The Conan crew and cast succeeded in transporting us into Conan's Dark Ages.
Director John Milius fulfilled his work of a lifetime.  A USC colleague of George Lucas, Milius even designed some of his own props like the giant milling wheel where Conan grew up as a slave.  He shot the arrows that brought down the monster snake coiled around Conan.  He didn't wipe Arnold's real blood when Arnold accidentally fell during the wild wolves chase scene, because it looked gorier that way.
Conan the Barbarian was basically a silent movie.  It was too good to survive beyond the sequel, because Milius was axed after Part 1.  The excellent musical score by Basil Poledouris, also studied with Lucas, narrated the movie transcendentally.  The script was first written by Oliver Stone.  Its conciseness gave credence to the raw emotion that spoke for itself of a beguiling bygone age.
The characters seemed hand-picked straight out of a Howard reading and are portrayed by a motley mix of foreign and distinguished talents.  The witch (Gava) that turned into a demon when Conan made love to her, the ally wizard (Mako) living next to a cemetery home of the gods, Doom's bodyguards (Ben Davidson, an NFL player, & champion Swedish bodybuilder Thorsen), Subotai the thief/archer (a novice actor but pro surfer, Valeria (Bergman), Conan's sword maiden (who won the sole notable award for the movie: a Golden Globe), and King Osric (the legendary Max Von Sydow, who even did his role for free) to name some.  This was not made just for adolescents--among whom I counted when I first saw it!
After many adventures, Conan battles the sorcerer Thulsa Doom (the great voice James Earl Jones) in a one of the greatest final battle of battles!!  A TOUCHDOWN for sure!!!

Unbreakable (2000)- SuperWillis

Director Shyamalan created this movie about superheroes at the most human level.  You see this hero, Mr. Dunn (Bruce Willis), appear this year at the end of the movie Split, which Shyamalan also directed.  In comic book drama, it probably means he's working on the Unbreakable sequel with the Split villain Horde (James McAvoy), as the third movie in this series.  A good reason to revisit this old cult flick.  

Shyamalan sets up characters trying to answer the proverbial question 'why am I here.'  The movie is a bit slow going, but succeeds in enveloping you in its comic book narrative.  David Dunn (Willis), a security guard, learns about his powers through Mr. Glass (Samuel L. Jackson), an influential comic book collector in a wheelchair.  David is apparently indestructible.  Mr. Glass exposes himself to Dunn as his nemesis, having blown up various airplanes and cruise ships.  The best thing about the movie is the musical scores and camera shots as Dunn takes us through his journey of self-discovery. This is a refreshing way of portraying the superhero without all the cliches and predicable action scenes.  David only discovers these powers until the end, leaving us panting for more.

17 years later, amid our cheers, Shyamalan's superhero reemerges.  This intensifies his humanity.  Just a regular Joe like us stuck in the mix of time.  Despite the lagging development and limited heroism, I was still enthralled by a unique approach to the super hero genre, and now I see it begin to pay off.  I give this a Winning 25 yd. Line. 

Lucy (2014)- Non-Lucid

What happens when a husband, Director Luc Besson, and wife, Producer Virginie Besson-Silla make a movie?  It was very lucrative for them.  I saw an intriguing beginning, but a disappointing development.
Besson directed some of my favorite movies like The Professional and The Fifth Element.  You notice a little of that genius as the movie begins.  Once again he elevates a heroine, Lucy (Scarlett Johansson), the streetwise girlfriend of a drug trafficker (Pilou Asbaek).  After her boyfriend sets her up, she is forced to carry drugs for Korean drug boss Mr. Jang (Choi Min-Sik) inside her body.  Those drugs begin to leak into her organs.  The drug is CPH4, which allows users to utilize up to 100% of their brain.  The movie leads us to imagine what it's like to use more than our theorized 10% of our brain.  Professor Samuel Norman (Morgan Freeman) adds to this wonder by rattling off brain facts and theories about our brain's potential.  Lucy becomes a super mutant with unfathomed powers.  She can travel throughout time, control electronics by manipulating electromagnetic waves, manipulate other human brains, and throw in telekinesis too.  Limitless leads to boring.  Amazing special effects soon lose their appeal, as the plot to find all the bags of CPH4 that her boyfriend sent with her is quickly resolved.
The ending seals the deal.  The drug lord Jang failed in becoming the archenemy he was set up to be. He was just a bad guy that pestered a demigoddess until the end.  Besson's greatest failure is the fate of Lucy.  She continues as a sentient being like his former heroines, but in a very improbable body. My teen really liked it.  Still, I can't believe a Besson movie gets a Losing 45 yard Line from me.

The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies (2014)- My Fav Books

Peter Jackson's Hobbit trilogy, prequel to his Lord of the Rings movies, ends with this film.  Thank you Mr. Jackson for bringing my favorite J.R.R. Tolkien books to life!
It deserved more than a mere Oscar nomination, but that's why I am the Critic of the People, so the masses be heard.  Peter was shy of a masterpiece.  Bilbo the Hobbit (Martin Freeman) ends his journey at Erebor's Lonely Mountain.  The dragon Smaug should've been killed in the previous movie which makes this movie drag on.  Once the dragon is dead, 5 armies converge on Smaug's horde of treasure being defended by Thorin's (Richard Armitage) company of dwarfs inside the Lonely Mountain.  Jackson over embellished!  There's worms straight out of Frank Herbert's Dune, and the inconclusive, silly romance between an elf and a dwarf continued logging on minutes.  Some parts were repetitive from the Lord of the Rings film trilogy enemy marches, like orcs emerging from Gundabad with redundant scripts.  No wonder Thorin's band goes out to battle armorless; filmstrip's running short.  Bilbo lies to Gandalf (Ian McKellen) that he lost the ring of power, despite showing it to Gandalf in Jackson's the Fellowship of the Ring. 
Nonetheless, only Jackson goes to Middle Earth.  He synthesized Tolkienesque CGI creatures and settings together.  Some history on Sauron, the Lord of the Rings, is a bonus that Tolkien left us wanting to know more about, and Jackson expands on.  There are plenty of dramatic skirmishes supplementing this battle of 5 armies that equals or tops the final battle in The Return of the King.
I haven't given a movie a FIELD GOAL in a while.  Well, I give it to this flick due to how close it came to greatness.  That's Peter Jackson for you though.  Adding Del Toro as cowriter was a good try, but he needed more fresh minds.  More likely his management style was on automatic after making 6 of these Tolkien movies.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)- Episode VIII Ate It

Episode VIII marks the much awaited full return of Luke Skywalker (Hamill) to the new sequel series.  Hooked onto sci-fi since I beheld the deserts of Tatooine, I still don't love VIII, even though teenagers rave about it, but it was better than Episode VII: The Force Awakens. 
Fortunately, J. J. Abrams is limited to executive producer, instead of writing and directing as in The Force Awakens.  Abrams is not even good for the new Star Trek, as I mentioned before.  Rian Johnson directs this one, from the well-acclaimed Looper; better but still not the right cut.  I started confused again, as in VII, noting more gaps in the Prologue.  It read that the First Order is now as powerful as the previous Empire and the Resistance is more overwhelmed than ever.  Didn't the First Order's planet killer just get blown up and their champion Kylo Ren (Driver) was out dueled by amateur Rey (Daisy Ridley) in Episode VII?  Also, the restored humor descends into corny levels from the outstart.
This film is best rated on its disappointing movie form: it's really about Luke and his nemesis Kylo Ren.  Luke's development sucks while Ren's peaks.  Luke went on anti-Jedi rants?  Ghost of Yoda appears, treating Luke like a total novice again.  Luke throws his light saber away!!!  We waited all these years for this tomfoolery??  Kylo Ren was the real centerpiece!?!  Ren continues to display his struggles with the Force, having to prove anew that he is Sith enough.  Ren deals with Luke, Rey, and even his own Supreme Leader (Andy Serkis).  Rey's development is the worst, as the elephant in the room.  We know the rest of the series depends on her, but casts her aside to make room for more subplots to make it the longest Star Wars flick ever.  As if begrudging this, Rey loses it and raises a light saber against Luke.  Yet, the twists and turns, and the swan song performance of Carrie Fisher as Leia keeps it worth reviewing.
George Lucas, ...how could you go on TV and give VIII your blessing???  The ending was anticlimactic and unStar Wars-like.  Of course, Luke battles Ren.  Although, Force wielders always act within the realms of the physical, these act like DC Comic heroes.  The much expected battle was a nothing burger.  Luke's fate is unlike any other Jedis'.  Another embarrassing episode of this trilogy, but I move it up to the Winning 35 yd. Line, due to improvements since Episode VII.  Only Star Wars: Rogue One has recaptured the flash of the original Star Wars for me.

  

The Ingraham Angle (FOX)- Fake News Too?

Laura Ingraham at last has her own well-deserved televised show.  I admire her growth through conservative radio and CNN into a FOX primetime slot.  It just premiered October 30, 2017, and airs at 10:00 PST.
Please, hear me out, in the midst of divided times, I watch all types of news shows.  Media is biased, and we're entitled to form our own opinions.  She spars with guests from opposing views to bring her own twist to the current climate of 'fake news' vs. the conservative island of FOX.  In a field being remade with the fall of giants on both sides, due to allegations of sexual harassment, from the likes of Matt Lauer to Bill O' Reilly, Laura has always been a dependable source of thought-provoking items. She even injects some social gusto to keep it entertaining. Overall, she is an iron maiden, demanding admiration regardless of political persuasion.  I don't think anybody has ever frazzled her, surviving in such a punishing field. Laura provides an arena of time-tested discourse that adds perspective to the national protests.  While some might brand her as Far Right, I've always enjoyed how she exposes the worst and best of the Left and Right that I don't glean from other news shows.
She needs to spice it up a bit more though, being on primetime.  No, singing nuns won't keep me awake.  Laura, this is not radio.  Yes, we can see you now: cover that golden cross; no other anchor flaunts their religion for long.  I lay it on the Goal Line until then.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)- Prequel II

Finally, Part II of the Planet of the Apes prequel continues to answer so many questions left by the original series led by Charlton Heston.  Caesar the chimpanzee, leader of the colony of genetically modified super apes, has fortified his foothold in the woods north of San Francisco while humanity continues to wane.  As 1 in 500 humans survive the plague of simian flu, the Franciscan humans' clash with the apes escalates.
Director Matt Reeves' CGI dominated cast should have won the Oscar for its Best Visual Effects nomination. The homo sapiens are actually pretty good too with Jason Clarke as Malcom, the leading protagonist for the "good" humans.  There will never be another Charlton Heston, yet Clarke fills the role with enough moral passion.  Gary Oldman is Dreyfus, the leader of the San Franciscan community.  Gary, his usual face contortions and all,  insists on going to war against the apes.  There is a true warmth and nobility portrayed by Caesar, which is a stark contrast to what the ape society turned into in the Planet of the Apes that is entertaining to see evolve, and it's amazing to remember that he is mere pixels.
The ending is foreseen in each of these movies, so the action and suspense is vital.  Indeed, it comes delivers, with rivalries proliferate within both camps while bridging both worlds; thus, polishing this series to gain its place in the apocalyptic pantheon.  10th & Goal is my rating after multiple-watching!

Kidnap (2017) - In America

Halle Berry returns with one of her best dramatic performances as Karla Dyson.  She transforms from your everyday van-driving mom, into the female version of Liam Neeson's Taken character when they kidnap her son (Sage Correa).  Congratulations Halle, on a career you continue to find room to explore!  After The Call, Halle is truly the most beautiful dramatist.
GET YOUR POPCORN EARLY.  It's nonstop action.  So Taken just finished a trilogy to gain the abduction genre's crown; yet, Director Luis Prieto is able to make this film much more personal and graphic.  It raises awareness for the Amber Alerts tapping in more and more into our personal electronics.  It could happen to any one of us in America, as it did in the flick's jungle gym.  We're on the phone while we wait bored for our children to finish their playtime. "Cops are not around when you need them" (with all due respect).  I like how helpless Halle Berry portrayed herself, bogged down by police bureaucracy and bystander drivers too busy with their own lives. Karla becomes her own bounty hunter.  No CIA expertise, creates a believable desperate mom we can all relate with.
Unfortunately, the ending is overdramatic, unreasonable, and abrupt.  Come on, you had a plot on fire!  Then, you leave us at mid-popcorn.  My teen even paid for me to watch this movie after she viewed it.  For the mama bear rage alone and a teen top pick, I will bring it up to the Winning 35 yd. Line.    

Sicario (2015) - Home

I don't like to see movies like these, because they hit too close to the home I miss.  Sicario did not just sensationalize drug cartels; it broadcasted the crisis next door by revealing multi-national fronts of crime networks seething south of our borders.
Director Villeneuve, a Canadian really, made a movie like a Mexicano, revealing a socioeconomic dynamic that few outsiders understand.  Agent Macer (Emily Blunt) is being broken into her new assignment, battling the War on Drugs at the Mexican border in Juarez.  Emily projects all our fears as soon as we cross that border.  It's somebody else's territory not attributed to any nation.  During Macer's first raid, all the vistas, sounds, and tension are authentic.  They make a desperate return to the U.S. border where they are waylaid by Salvadoran Maras; as one of her colleagues commented, that the incident won't even make the news. People are numbed into denial and resignation stuck in such a world. The Colombian cartel's Alejandro Gillick, 'el Colombiano', (Del Toro) is the Sicario (hitman).  He aids the U.S. to arrest a Sonoran Cartel boss.  Yes, the legal lines get blurred in this covert war, leading to greater twists and turns than the border underground tunnels they patrol.  Del Toro brings the Latino villain to new levels.  He's on our side; he tortures with his silence; he endangers us.
I like that this movie shows how everybody is at war and no family is safe, depicting the true chaos at our borders and the climate of fear permeating cartel hotspots.  I leave it on 10th & Goal.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) - Part II Doldrums

Peter Jackson, director/producer, continues the Hobbit's saga with Part II. Bilbo, masterly portrayed by Martin Freeman, and Co. reach their goal of arriving to the Lonely Mountain where they must confront the dragon Smaug.
Jackson is a genius but creates substandard second parts to his trilogies.  The Hobbit movies are a prequel to J.R.R. Tolkien's epic work the Lord of the Rings, also an MGM franchise.  In this Part II, our hero, Bilbo the Hobbit, travels with dwarfs and the wizard Gandalf (Ian Mckellen).  They are on a mission to wrest the dwarven kingdom of Erebor from the dragon that vanquished them, who lays resident atop the treasure horde inside the Lonely Mountain.  Jackson again does not cease to amaze us by recreating a Middle Earth that nobody else dared even try.  The creatures, worlds, and characters from the books are pure Tolkien--I've read each one.
What Jackson lacks is continuity.  I cannot believe that he leaves us hanging at the end by not revealing Smaug's fate until Part III!  Peter spent too much screen time fighting the dragon, making Smaug less ferocious.  Jackson finally introduced some of Tolkien's excellent prose in Part 1: An Unexpected Journey, just to shut it out again.  The evil Necromancer, aka Sauron, looks like a Harry Potter smoky devil.  He copied enough parts in The Lord of the Rings movies from the animated films, like cloning Elrond the half elf in Hugo Weaving--only I could notice that.
I lay this on the Winning15 yd Line.  Jackson still thrills us with great acting choices like the Master of Laketown (Stephen Fry), Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly), and transcending CGI characters.

Arrival (2016) - Unique

Arrival is a one-of-a-kind science fiction movie.  Aliens arrive but they don't want to kill us; they wanted to help us.  It's all about learning to communicate with each other.
A friend told me, knowing that I'm a science fiction fan, that I might not like this movie since it's not your typical space thriller.  It immediately engaged me.  The spaceship and aliens are unique creations. They have landed on multiple sectors of the world with the intention of getting the human race working with each other for the common goal of understanding these aliens.  At first, nations are sharing their headway.  Then, as misunderstandings percolate, countries block off their information, leading to a climactic finish.  I was enthralled to see how far this alien visit, turned international experiment, would go.  The key linguist, Loiuse Banks (Amy Adams) makes the translating quite the linguistic endeavor, trying to understand the extraterrestrials while fighting off government directives. Jeremy Renner and Forest Whitaker play excellent supporting roles as scientist and Colonel, respectively.
The ending is as predictable as getting something done in the United Nations.  I leave this on the Winning 25 yd Line, as a movie of principle that explores our own civilization.

Sully (2016) - Hero

Sully (Tom Hanks) is a great movie depicting a true American hero.  We don't get to see many of those lately in our dividing country, so they deserve full disclosure when they surface.
I thought the flick wouldn't triumph as well as it did, because the crash landing, the 'Miracle on the Hudson,' is not the main plot.  Most of the movie is about a pilot that is being persecuted by insurance and government bodies for doing the right "human factor" thing.  Clint Eastwood as producer/director opted for the best strategy.  He relives the 'Miracle' in two stages.  Yet, the main focus was seeing the ugly side of how dreaded insurance companies work amidst federal red tape. The masses ruled the day!  Sully represented our fight against the bottom line.  Tom Hanks played it out perfectly with sober steadfastness.  The final hearing rocked!  The pilots entered with such a tenable position.  It was the grand fight of the simulator vs. humans, akin to John Henry's folklore against the steam hammer.
This is also a tribute to those pilots who fly us safely through all their digital layouts.  I wish the second portrayal of the landing was more meticulous.  I lay it on the Winning 25 yd Line.

The Mummy (2017) - Beaute Fatale

{My following 10 movie reviews, or so, will be shorter than usual, since I'm on vacation and sometimes overseas.}

The newest Mummy movie successfully continues the horror tradition since 1932.  This female mummy is seductive, Tom Cruise is well Tom Cruise (Sgt. Nick Morton), and the plot is suspensefully scary.  If you're going retro, make it work...
This time, Universal Pictures did so.  A Mummy movie should not have any humorous strains, as the Brendan Fraser trilogy--which I still refuse to watch.  It's in the horror genre.  I love Fraser, but he makes me laugh just looking at him--a great gift.  Universal hired top brass to revive their franchise. It went international budget blockbuster!  Tom Cruise as the protagonist cannot fail. Sofia Boutella, as Princess Ahmanet, applies an exotic cocktail of dangerous attraction.  She is almost as desirable as Anck-Su-Namun (Venezuelan supermodel Patricia Velasquez) from The Mummy (1999). Sofia comes back to life, aiming at your heart.  Russell Crowe plays a frightful monster first.
My teenage audience was scared enough.  This was a similar starting plot with Ahmanet killing her Pharaoh and awaiting her lover in the afterlife, but it was quite a different ending.  I place it on the Winning 35 yd Line, since I side with the masses, and I'm still warming up to mummies.  

Rogue One (2016) - Lucas- Like

Disney's revived Star Wars sequel trilogy takes a break to be outdone with this prequel to Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope. The action picks up as a crack troop of rebels attempt to steal the Death Star plans, setting up the plot for A New Hope.

Director Gareth Edwards did it! Along with his screenwriters, he is the first to bring back the Star Wars saga to Lucas glory.  This was a herculean task that J. .J. Abrams didn't quite accomplish in Episode 7: The Force Awakens; although, both directors were able to replicate the humor of the original trilogy.  There's a new signature droid: reprogrammed Imperial droid K-2SO (Alan Tudyk). He's not just opinionated, but also deadly, and rips off facts with stoic straightness like Star Trek Data.  The plot is not a copycat Episode 7.  It is a passionate narrative of a girl hoping to reunite with her dad and rebels showing their best desperate side.  It's heart-wrenching and brings back the human element without overembellishing.  There is plenty of dramatic element too with Machiavellian Director Krennic (Mendelsohn), who unveils the intriguing clashes of power within the Empire elites that were still apparent in the New Hope board meetings.  New heroes rise to the Star Wars pantheon: Jyn Erso's (Felicity Jones) loving eyes and undaunted spirit and Cassian Andor (Diego Luna) is finally a Latino presence, accent and all.     

The coolest is seeing cameos of Vader (James Earl Jones, audio), sporting awkward turtle neck armor, and others peek in from Episode 4.  The ending is Shakespearean, unlike any other Lucas film.  Edwards demonstrated that you can blaze your own path in this new series of Disney produced films without depending on Lucas cliches.  The link to A New Hope was totally authentic.  I heard people cried.  Sound editing deserved the nominated Oscar, and the musical score deserved a nomination...a firm TOUCHDOWN!

Dunkirk (2017) - Miracle?

Christopher Nolan's, director of the Dark Knight trilogy,  Dunkirk opens this weekend.  He depicts how in 1940, the English army was trapped on the narrow beach of Dunkirk, France.  Considered a miracle, most of the more than 300,000 soldiers successfully made it back home.
The problem is that Nolan doesn't narrate a miracle.  The movie flips between triple plots: a civilian mariner's (Rylance) family answering the call to rescue the English trapped on the beach, an English soldier (Whitehead) trying to escape through vanquished efforts, and a Spitfire pilot (Tom Hardy), masterly acted. The beginning was Nolanesque suspense you can cut with a knife. You can feel the Germans arriving at any moment, as the English are neatly ranked in rows, crowding the pier.  Yet, nobody is in the air or ocean to protect their retreat.  Then Nolan's nonlinear, artistic style takes over. The suspense dies.  Granted, Dunkirk was not a panicked retreat.  Still, this isn't Gotham. The movie drawled out into a dark, nihilistic intermission.
My younger teen said, "Boring."  I had to keep explaining the war to her, because you never see a Nazi.  My older teen loved it!  He's all about the subplots and cinematography.  We trekked out to the cinema early, but only a few dozen arrived--about the same amount of private boats seen in the film approaching Dunkirk.  The horizon should be covered with them.  The civilian boats were supposed to ferry soldiers to the warships at midchannel.  That was the miracle!  Nolan was too immersed with character portrayal and sends the yachts full of Brits all the way to the island.  There should've been a grand reception for the soldiers--only some soda pop through a train window.
The French are negatively portrayed.  They were the ones that prevented a total rout by fighting off the Germans.  The camera shots beguiled you to feel like you were there on the Channel or beach or air, so I'll advance this to the Winning 45 yd Line.  

The Simpsons (FOX) - Modernized

Matt Groening's Simpsons has grown into our decade of electronic devices, Mr. Moms, and working moms.  FOX Channel has an impressive collection of episodes dating back to the 1990s.
The show is going to break all records for the longest lasting T.V. show. with the same cast.  It's still politically incorrect, dares to explore the metaphysical (Heaven and Earth), vulgar, opinionated, and brutally honest.  We can't help laughing, because the cartoon series is about us.  It proves that there is an American culture amidst our melting pot after all.  We're overweight, children are troublesome but lovable, work is drudgery, bars are escapes, cops are mean, and we live for our "happy times."
In T.V. though, you need to adapt to the test of time, and the show has done just that.  Computers, flat screens, and cell phones are commonplace.  Of course, Homer has a harder time with technology. He's still looking for the 'any' key when he reads the message "Press any key."  Homer even refers more to children's discipline, Bart struggles with self esteem, Lisa continues to overperform, and mom even tries new careers.
It's not easy raising a family, and it helps to laugh off the stress of modern society. Springfield shows us that no family is normal.  Homer, Bart, and the rest of the neighborhood tell it like everyone else thinks but can't get away with saying it.  My kids grew up watching them, under a watchful filter, so you get to be on 10th and Goal. 

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part II (2015) - The Final Game

Flaming Katniss Everdeen (Lawrence), "Mockingjay," in the 4th and final movie of the series erupts in the most action yet. This time she is bent on finishing the war against Snow's (Sutherland) presidency, which she began in Part 1.
The movie concludes its legacy as a unique science fiction drama, reflecting the feel of the world created by author Suzanne Collins.  The war continues to be fought through intrigue, media manipulation, game of houses, subterfuge, and fashion statements.  There is one more Hunger Game, unfficially #76: Katniss and an elite force move in on the capital, but they have to cross an obstacle course of booby traps and other dangers like mutant eyeless humanoids.  The movie found a way again to avoid total war with the right chess moves.  The game is over when guards turned against Snow after a suspected bombing of civilians.  Then, it appears Snow didn't order the "barbaric" bombing, and Everdeen must unravel the new political machine before the Hunger Games are reinstated.  As Boggs said, "Don't trust them."  At least, we get to see more than a couple battle scenes.
It ends with twists and turns like we're used to.  Just like Tolkien's Frodo, a simple county girl is able to survive the clashes of the mighty and return to her District 12. Katniss finally resolves her complicated love life, but her choice seems the weaker. Hunger Games always ran kind of slow for me.  Most of the characters were mumbling, so I had to pump up my surround sound.  I loved seeing the return of the heroine blockbuster, showing fearless female virtue to the last.  I lay this on the Winning 25 yd Line for being such a Millennial classic.

Better Call Saul (AMC) - Getting Better

Yesss, a prequel to Breaking Bad!  I preferred a sequel, but beggars can't be choosers.  It stars our maverick lawyer, who began life as Jimmy Mcgill (Bob Odenkirk), better known as Saul Goodman. The series concluded Season 3, after airing on Wednesdays.
Despite high anticipation, the show was a real sleeper for me for the first 2 seasons.  Don't get me wrong, Cocreator Vince Gilligan still works his magic, after creating Breaking Bad, but shares it with Peter Gould.  The script is engaging as usual with deep moral conflicts.  Some of the big brass of Breaking Bad keep returning like security Mike (Banks), lately Gus Fring (Esposito), and the whole Mexican Cartel from Tuko (Raymond Cruz) to Don Salamanca (Mark Margolis).  The problem is that Jimmy is just not that interesting before his "Saul" phase. They tried creating spicy subplots to supplement, as in Breaking Bad, but too much time is given to the life of Jimmy's brother, Chuck (McKean).  He rubs in the torture, being terribly oppressive toward Jimmy.  Mike's indoctrination into the drug world is too sluggish.  We don't care about the intricacies of a hustling lawyer. We watched because we took the bait expecting more normal people to fulfill dark fantasies!
The creators caught on, but Season 3 might come too late.  I stayed because of my loyalty.  The whole cartel network is in motion by Season 3, with Fring confronting Don Salamanca for the U.S. drug market.  Everything climaxes, even the Mcgill brothers' fued.  Also, Jimmy seems about to be ready to hatch into "Saul Goodman."  I brought this a long way to the Winning 35 yd Line.  By that point, I'm always eager to see the next season.

Independence Day (1996) - Alien Hit

This alien cult movie has a little of everything: patriotism, action, all-star cast, famous quotes, laughs, and graphic images.  It was also worthy of its Oscar, Grammy, and many more.  The sequel I.D: Resurgence was long overdue.
The movie lived up to its marketing hype with entertaining performances.  Targeted for the 4th, the aliens finally arrive by smashing the White House in a poignant scene that had never been seen before. Then, President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) builds his task force.  He includes a genius scientist, David (Goldblum).  Jeff Goldblum and his dad (Judd Hirsch) fuel the funny fumes.  Jeff is his usual self with the distant look and Jeffisms: "don't say oops,"..."a toast to the end of the world."  Will Smith is Capt. Steven, who pilots an alien ship in the climax.  The minor roles shine too like the dust cropping pilot Russell Casse (Randy Quaid), who has a chip on his shoulder to settle with the aliens for kidnapping him.  The Area 51 lead scientist Dr. Brackish, (aka Trekkie Data, Brent Spiner), is an awesome add-on.  "We don't get many visitors," he blurts out in his unkept appearance and peculiar mannerisms.
Roland Emmerich, who also directed Stargate, improves on his sci-fi repertoire with monstrous ships, doomsday drama, and Star Wars-like battles in our atmosphere.  Yet, the movie did borrow cliche quotes, like, "I'm baaack," and ye old recipe for disaster: destroy the mother ship and scatter the drones.  It's all about the epic production and star appeal that make it a success.  No score, but good enough for the Goal Line.

The Cobbler (2014) - New Sandler

It's cool to see Adam Sandler explore a dramatic role as the Cobbler, Max Simkin.  Of course, he's still funny.  Max discovers that he turns into the owner of the shoes that he tries on.
Sandler is the only factor that helps this flick despite class acts like the unique Buscemi and the legendary Hoffman.  The Cobbler plods along through life, just like the script.  He has no social life or customer appeal.  Unfortunately, this awesome magical gift just creates more problems for him. The people I could be, and things I would do if I discovered such a power.  Max fills the shoes of the local gangbanger, Leon (Method Man).  He takes risks for the first time, but then he turns into a 'crossdresser' and kills the gangster with his stilettos.  OK, now he's a murderer, and there's no moral pangs expressed by good citizen Max?  Also, he transforms into his 'dad' to give his dear old mama one last dinner date at home with her 'husband'.  He helped kill the woman, because she wakes up dead. You can argue that he satisfied her dream of reuniting with her husband again, but it seems like assisted suicide.  Again, the Cobbler quickly gets over it.  This guy's made of ice!  He even robbed a rich guy's shoes using the shoes of a 'Black person', so he could become the 'rich guy' to paint the town red.
Finally, the Cobbler's long lost dad (Hoffman) returns, but their new relationship is left inconclusive. The main adventure I wanted to see was the infatuation Max displayed for urban development activist Carmen (Melonie Diaz). That's where Sandler shines as the awkward lover, but it goes nowhere.  The girl keeps flirting until the end.  I leave this at the Losing 35 yd Line, since my older teen really liked it.    

Breaking Bad (AMC) - Binge Alert

AMC's 2nd Emmy award winning masterpiece is about teacher (Cranston)/ meth cook and his sidekick, Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul), his former high school chemistry student.  They form the most dangerous odd couple of T.V. as they rise to drug lord status.  The 5 seasons since 2008 are over, but the marathon binging is not, currently on Summer Sundays.
The creator Vince Gilligan formed a cult classic, changing cable T.V. forever.  Cult movies are known for casting each cast member with precision in the perfect storyline for them, making a production rewatchable many times.  That's what Gilligan did, but for T.V.  Cranston is reborn as straight Mr. White.  You might be him: stuck in suburbia, dead-end career, and growing desperate to resolve his bills until he finds a way out of his mid-life crisis.  Aaron Paul speaks with emphatic pauses with "bitch" sprinkled on every script page.  Each drug lord they encounter was a caricature from the Mexican cartel bosses to the Chilean "Chicken King."  Skyler (Anna Gunn) is the polished trophy wife forced to descend into her husband's underworld.  Mr. White's brother-in-law, Hank (Dean Norris), is the macho DEA agent alpha male, who realizes he's not the big fish...and so many more! They played it so well, most careers died with these roles.
Each season is a new level of thug life.  The moral conflicts make you think, "What would I do?"  In the end, everybody is tainted with dirty money, including us--as we can't help but root for our fav's happy ending.  Easy TOUCHDOWN!  It's in the Guinness World Records as most critically acclaimed, after all.        

Odd Thomas (2013) - Koontz Thrilla

The "Odd One" is Thomas, a.k.a. New Chekov (the late Anton Yelchin), a clairvoyant roadside cook that can see death figures revolve around people that are about to kill others.  It's a twist on Unbreakable (2000), when Bruce Willis played the superhero that could tell who would commit a homicide.  Thomas never adopts the hero mentality, and handles himself more as a police psychic to arrest the murderers.
This is a Millennial magnet.  Yelchin is their ideal star being young, quirky, intelligent, innovative, and into the supernatural.  There is even a door into the underworld if you open the wrong doorknob. Stephen Sommers (The Mummy) is director and more.  It evolves into a mystery plot about a record mass collection of death shadows that encircle the next killer.  The whodunit plays to crescendo background music, as the grand climax builds up to resolve why all those death demons are congregating in this desert town.
Odd Thomas is actually a book series by an ol hobby of mine: Dean R. Koontz reads.  It takes a particular talent to recreate Koontz's characters.  Stephen Sommers does a good job of staircasing suspense to reach the big surprise at the end.  I will lay it on the Winning 35 yd Line.  Koontz is not rereadable either once he leaves you exhausted in the end with those huge volumes and feeling satisfied to know the answer, as in this movie.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987) - Travel Hell

I hate to say that this movie has most of my bad travel memories.  Two of my favs, Steve Martin (Neal Page) and John Candy (Del Griffith) team up a few too many miles as they try to return home through multiple delays.  John Hughes runs the whole production.
This odd couple ranks in the Top 10 of all time.  John Candy sees the bright side of even a chilling ride behind a pick-up truck.  He's the guy that tends to freeload and be a burden on a long trip.  The one who sweet talks his way through your every sacrifice.  He crowds the coach airplane seating, takes all the towels, and asks for too many favors.  Then when Page can't take it and rants on him, Del is the wounded victim, making you feel worse in the end.  Steve Martin plays his humorous straight guy.  He's the polite one that loses it with the rude desk workers, like I did once.  They enter cheap inns of every nightmare shade, which I know too well.
The writing was also memorable.  Martin's and Candy's monologues are like "Where's your other hand?"... "I want a f___n car right f___n now!"..."If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the John and watch you take a leak,"..."Why do I feel like I'm in summer camp?"  It finishes it off on point, with those idle hours you spend reliving the best/worst from your trip.
Laughing all the way,  I lay this on 10th and Goal.

Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown (CNN) - Living Fuller

Anthony knows how to travel!  Even President Obama joined him last year (Ep. 1).  He hosts this Emmy Award winning show since 2013.  Bourdain meets and greets many people along the way and blends into the cultures he visits.  Parts Unknown airs on Sunday nights.  Great idea by CNN to take us on a tour of the world apart from the boiling pot of politics.
It's not your conventional travel show, and I don't think you will ever go back.  "It looks like a movie," says my teen.  One episode starts as the camera pans through a narrow alley of multi-colored shops.  Then, HDTV camera stills of the city reveal more.  "You smell that?...Vietnam, it could be no place else," says Bourdain, entertaining the 5 senses.  He introduces you to the city of Hanoi on motorcycle--the best way to see it he claims.
Traveling is one of my hobbies, but most travel shows only cover the touristy safe sectors of the world.  Bourdain travels like I travel, eat and mingle among the people to get the full cultural experience.  It's best to watch an episode while you eat, because you WILL salivate. Believe me, the best food is in the streets and mom/pop shops, all for a fraction of the costs compared to the tourist trap sit-ins. Anthony allows the people to be the narrators of their own land.  They talk about cuisine, ways of life, local history, and news of course. Bourdain interviews people to find what they think of America and other spicy topics.
I leave this at the Winning 25 yard Line!  Sometimes Anthony takes off into tangents like devoted too many minutes to sociopolitical strains.  I couldn't wait while I binged to get to the L.A. episode, just to see it funneled down to Latino causes.  What an inequitable depiction despite the great coverages other great cities received.  Yet, it always leaves me with a feeling of not globetrotting enough.  Also, you gather that we are not all that different in our global age.

Planet Earth II (BBC) - Nature Techy

What?...Sir David Attenborough is back, narrating a wildlife show.  I grew up seeing his trailblazing documentaries, and they fueled my love for nature.  The voice is thinner and less springy, but still transmits a sense of wonder about a world with no civilization.  Planet Earth II just concluded its second season.  It covers biomes from all over the world.
Civilized technology is actually used to bring nature in HD closer into our living rooms.  My teens love it!  The close-up shots catch their short attention spans.  While you are distracted by glistening limestone caves, suddenly you are thrown off a subterranean waterfall.  It's not just about panning helicopter shots.  There are some heart-pounding survival of the fittest moments.  Also, never before seen coverage, an Attenborough trademark, like serpents chasing hatching marine iguanas on their way to the Pacific; gruesome scenes of a bed of roaches devouring bats that fall to their death.  Planet Earth I and II is on the map on prime time. On Jimmy Kimmel Live, memorable glimpses of these BBC film shorts are narrated by Snoop Dog branded "Plizzanet Earth"--nature made cool.
Sorry, I can only see this before bed.  I lay this on 10th and Goal.  Get ready to slow down and relax--something we're not used to anymore with the pull of CGI and action-oriented activities.

Zoolander No. 2 (2016) - Fashion Funny

Another movie that I avoided, but the all-star cast demands a second look.  Just in the starring cast alone you have Stiller (Zoolander & Director), Penelope Cruz (Valentina), Will Ferrel (Mugatu), and Owen Wilson (Hansel).  Blink and you might miss some celebrities like 'Rev.' Sting, Katy Perry, Ariana Grande (in masochist gear), Willie Nelson, and more...  Movies are too cost-conscious now and gone are the days of the great star-filled epic movies from the golden era.
This film continues the parody about the fashion world's lust for youth, attention, and the perfect look--yesss, finally.  Zoolander must protect his son, the "Son of Steve."  The hunt is on as the fashion elite want to drink the blood of Zoolander's son (Cyrus Arnold), because he is a descendant of the father of all models, Steve, whose blood grants eternal youth.  Mugatu captures him and Zoolander and Co. descend on the models' convention to stop them before his son is sacrificed.
It caught the attention of my Millennials.  They liked seeing Bieber victimized.  Will Ferrel made this comedy better than No. 1.  I'm usually not a fan, but his particular humor did not take over this time but added to the sequence and form of the movie.  My balcony also liked the family antics, like Freelander can't dress his son with an inside out fleece vest and eyeliner to school and not expect the kid to not have social issues.
Stiller decided to make this his baby, directing and co writing the flick.  He might have over reached. Yet, it did create some awes.  The humor is a motley kind of cornball, sexually insinuating, sarcastic, and slapstick all in one.  It was better than I thought.  I bring this up from losing to Midfield.  I would definitely watch a No. 3.

Battle: Los Angeles (2011) - L.A. Hit

No, it's not another L.A. riot; it's L.A. in a Halo-type alien war.  Aaron Eckhart, debatably in his best starring role, is recalled as Marine Staff Sargent Michael Nantz and flown into Santa Monica with his platoon to face off alien invaders.
The soldiers' backgrounds are referenced throughout the movie, adding a human factor in a sci-fi blockbuster.  Some platoon members, Sargent Mike, and his 2nd LT (William Martinez) have some chips on their shoulders to increase the personal drama. Their mission: rescue civilians stuck in the crossfire.  Regular people getting caught in the battle bring it even closer to home when they extract Joe's (Michael Pena) Latino family.  Since they are in L.A., needing a quick ride before their sector is bombarded, they rig a public bus.  Tragedy strikes and the platoon comes to the verge of mutiny.
The Sargent is forced to make a final selfless act haunting his past.  It all leads to the final showdown.  My teen Balcony liked the realistic CGI of course--loud and in your face!  The aliens slowly reveal themselves with great suspense.  I don't mind the overused attack the mother ship and scatter the forces resolution in the end, when it works.  It made you feel like viewing a grand battle from a folding chair.  The finale is even credible, using modern weaponry skillfully and resolutely against a dominant foe.
I have to give this a FIELD GOAL, but hear me out, it's exciting reliving the intense battle scenes in our urban backyard.  The grunt one-liners are cheesy at times, but the characters convince you to root for them as they resolve their inner battles. The best contribution is finally seeing an L.A. blockbuster you're not embarrassed about, unlike the list of improbable Angelino finesse movies like San Andreas, Volcano, and Escape from LA.

Genius (National Geographic) - Einstein

Genius is the biography of Albert Einstein, concluding in Season 1.  It begins during his rambunctious young undergraduate years until he changed the world of theoretical physics.
The series gets off to a great start with "Chapter 1" being directed by Ron Howard.  Johnny Flynn is the young Albert Einstein.  He develops a gifted student that finds it difficult to follow the herd. From the beginning, relationships elude the young Einstein.  Despite his genius, he never figured out women.
Somewhere between the 10 episodes, there's an abrupt change to covering the older Einstein--superbly played by Geoffrey Rush, with likeness and all.  Now, I realize all the barriers the man had to overcome. The docudrama makes it clear why Albert only received one Nobel Prize.  He worked through anti-Semitism, divorce, WWII, FBI, and competing scientists themselves.  Surprisingly, he lectured at Lincoln University.  It was mostly a Black student body of 265 men, where he spoke against racism.  Thus, in his latter years he continued to explore new pursuits.
As a docudrama, I want to learn about the subject and not just be entertained by T.V.  Genius taught me a lot about the things most valuable in life to reach your goal.  It left me wanting to see Einstein more as the American genius, lecturing in our universities.  Still, Goal Line all the way!    

Cesar 911 (National Geographic Wild) - Dog Whisperer

Cesar Millan has been active since 2004 and spawned various shows and organizations now devoted to dog rehab.  His latest is Cesar 911, which showcases his most severe canine cases.  Millan makes home visits and even interns some of these dogs in his private dog kennels.
Cesar comes from my part of Mexico in the state of Sinaloa.  He has quite a success story, crossing the border illegally and working his way up in dog-related occupations like dog grooming.
Cesar gains the respect of his clients and dogs for his expertise.  He was known for working with dogs since his boyhood in Mexico.  No wonder many of his methods are unconventional like using a broom as a barrier.  Many times he suffers dog bites by not backing down to show who is the alpha dog.  Almost every visit though, tends to end with happy masters.  Millan talks a lot about the way the dog brain works.  I'm impressed that he is self-taught about using calming methods and understanding dogs' cerebral activity.  It gives us average dog loving families hope to understand our own canines.
Cesar's main contribution is to expose the remarkable intelligence of dogs.  Many times, I've seen him make difficult dogs do exactly what he wants after visiting only a few minutes.  The show might be slow if you're not that much into dogs, so we'll leave this at 10th & Goal.
  

American Ultra (2015) - Fiercely Funny

Mike Howell (Jesse Eisenberg) appears to be one of us.  Eating his Cup of Noodles and working the night shift, he was doodling while thinking about his girl (Stewart).  Then his whole life changes like a bad daydream.
Mike is really a sleeper secret agent, ala millennial Jason Bourne, who was slotted to be killed off, but he is activated by CIA insiders.  He spends the rest of the movie killing in defense of his life until the CIA operation cleans house.  Well, if you're going to parallel another movie, this is the way to do it.
It's a parody!  Yes, it's funny and well-shot.  Choice acting with Kristen Stewart matching the hyperactivity of her dim-witted stoner boyfriend Mike.  Rose (John Leguizamo) is hilarious as the druggie friend.  The CIA roles of good cop (Britton) and bad (Grace) keep the action going.  Camera stills rule like the neon lights flashing at night before the storm.  Great lines keep the writing crisp like, "Are you my mother?"..."you gave me a fake girlfriend,"..."I'm the tree,"and..."all be over soonish."
It all leads to a final showdown.  For a comedy, there are some badass shoot-em-up bloody scenes.  The ending credits are a final tribute to comic book lovers and doodlers which is an entertaining send-off. Overall, director Nourizadeh invests full throttle.  I appreciate overbudjeted movies because they show that they went in no holds barred for us.  I lay this on the Goal Line as definitely re-watchable.

How She Move (2008) - Dreamily

MTV should keep making movies like this.  Rutina Wesley is Raya.  She joins a $50,000 dance competition to fund her education.  The movie covers the world of urban step dancing from the hoods of Toronto to Detroit.
The dance groups are awesome in themselves.  The movie budget is obvious with the huge crowds and dance line-ups.  They display synchronous movements, stomping rhythms, and some impromptu. The music is also 'sick' with deep reggae and underground hip hop. When Raya reunites with her crew, they perform to perfection in the Detroit prize-money competition, driving up in a classic until they pop its windows out. Ok a bit melodramatic,but the whole purpose was to impress. The acting also keeps me in my chair.  Raya returns to live in the ghetto after her family struggles in hard times. She goes through some bitter trials to be accepted.  In the end, Raya's mom shows up with the scholarship money she needed and decides to perform anyway.  Raya shows serious respect for the inner city culture--uncommon in cinema.  Rutina is powerfully beautiful with abs of steel. She doesn't lose herself as so many youth in the middle of the ghetto's sink-or-swim, jealousy, and the party life. It's a great message for our youth to stay focused until you accomplish your goals and not always make it about the 'mullah'.
The ending was too abrupt after the sensational Detroit dance.  What I like were so many rare images and themes straight from the barrios like the struggle for money driving your decisions, the pain of starting over emotionally and mentally, and the pressures of family life.  I give this a scoring opportunity on the Winning 35 yd. Line. 

The Patriot (2000) - Worth Cheering

Mel Gibson plays the American version of his hit Braveheart role as revolutionary Benjamin Martin. It starts off with a memorable one-man attack by Martin, after Col. Tavington (Isaacs) killed his young son, ending in Martin wiping out a prisoner escort and rescuing his older son.  The movie proceeds to narrate the American Revolutionary War saga.
Given, this is a historical fiction drama.  We don't know if the British really waged war led by sociopaths like the antagonist Col.  We do know that the British imposed their will on the colonial populace with enough force to provoke them into arms.  General Cornwallis (Wilkinson) states that the intent was on continuing commerce with the colonies not humiliating them.  The movie attempts credibility by correctly including in the introduction the division between Royalists and Rebels. "It's a lost cause," said a demoralized Continental soldier after another lost battle.  The roles of the French intervention, Black slaves, and freemen also build realism.
The main contribution is that Mel Gibson leads ragtag fighters, with his trademark charisma, to fight a guerilla warfare that truly consternated "lobster backs," who fought rigidly in forested landscapes. There are poignant moments like the melting of toy soldiers into musket balls. Most people forgot that Americans at one time resorted to desperate militia tactics like these.
I leave this at the Winning 25 yd Line.  Cornwallis blamed his lack of progress on the "Ghost"(Gibson). Take it from a History Major, it wasn't that simple.  Such scenes are what hurt the movie's credibility.  Still, each time you watch this, it's hard not to cheer.

Fear the Walking Dead (AMC) - West Coast TWD

Fear the Walking Dead (FTWD) is in Season 3.  It covers the zombie apocalypse from Los Angeles, as the West Coast version of the outbreak that debuted in The Walking Dead based in Atlanta.  With such big shoes to fill, FTWD was a shadow at best, of its hit Emmy award winning founding series.
The Californian connection wasn't written too well.  After an attack of beach zombies they sail away on Strand's yacht (Domingo).  They continue to try and forge their own identity by landing in Mexico.  It gets weird there with death cults dominating the series.  I am born in Mexico.  Believe me, despite the Day of the Dead, we would never worship zombies.  The writers seem desperate to create their own product.  Eventually, the cast crosses the border back into the former U.S. to live in a ranch commune.  Another issue is that this group destroys every society they join, unlike TWD who gets besieged by others.  Thus, you don't know where to place your compassion.
More holes the creators(Kirkman & Erickson) must fill are the moral conflicts that gave TWD fame, which are disjointed in FTWD.  Californians are supposed to be more liberal and open. These characters are quite scary: a single mom, Madison(Dickens), willing to kill and take over anything for her 2 children, and an ex Salvadoran death squad Sargent, Daniel Salazar(Ruben Blades), who tortures his own lifesavers.
Yet, FTWD has earned my full support.  The ranch has great potential with tons of supplies, and more so by casting former Sons of Anarchy Sheriff, Jeremiah (Callie), as ranch leader.  They met their own Neegan showdown, clashing vs. Indians claiming their land.  FTWD progresses to the 10th & Goal.  Now, FTWD must deal with the current climax and resolve the moral conflicts to settle their own Post-Apocalypse.

Primal Survivor (National Geographic) - Crocodile Hunter II

Hazan Audel, a Bradley Cooper dead ringer, is the Primal Survivor.  He takes up the 'Crocodile Hunter' crown to new levels.  In its second season, it airs on Sundays.  Audel not only handles lethally poisonous animals like his late, great predecessor, but also interacts with natives to adopt their primal ways.  There is some nudity due to the aborigine cultures that embrace him.
Kudos for Nat Geo in finding a way to return to its roots of studying native societies and entertaining us along the way.  We are reminded again of our roots when we were also just living to survive.
Hazan does just that.  He becomes one of the natives.  Hazan dons loincloths and even walks barefoot to completely immerse himself in the native experience.  He builds shelters, drinks from palm trees, hunts for eels in boa infested banks, and climbs trees to gather fruit.  Audel also goes on lone quests just like the villagers would do like herding cattle, by himself, across hyena territory in an African desert.
Hazan places himself at the full brunt of nature for our viewing pleasure, which killed Steve Irwin. Besides facing off predators, Hazan Audel is living and exploring in all the natural biomes.  He even got caught in quicksand.
I miss the exploits of the Crocodile Hunter, and I hope Audel has learned to curb such audacity.  I give this a TOUCHDOWN for going a mile futher by giving us a fuller understanding of our human evolution.  The camera crew also has great camera angles, leaving you with an existential experience.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) - Disney's Back

This first blockbuster was such a hit, the series just produced the 5th movie, Dead Men Tell No Tales. Disney went all in with this one!  Jerry Bruckheimer produced an excellent cast that seem to be reborn as pirates.  Even the minor roles like the pirate pair Pintel (Arenberg) and Ragetti (Crook) are complete caricatures that have gained their own followings.
At the start, the star pirate Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) shows up with comical fierceness at port. A mysterious pirate medallion is found invoking the cursed ship called the Black Pearl.  The medallion must be taken to a forsaken cavern where the blood of one of the cursed crew's relatives must be shed to unbind the curse.  Jack Sparrow's fate and those of his mates are caught up in the whole treasure hunt and decided by the end.
This movie is transformational in itself after growing up on the Disney ride.  Depp was at his best, from his British guttural accent, mocking mannerisms, and scallywag saunter.  Everyone pitches-in in a true CULT CLASSIC.  Orlando Bloom as the debonair pirate in denial, the British nobility of Gov. Swann (Pryce) bubbles with arrogance, Keira Knightly's beautiful versatility, a flash appearance of future fame for Zoe Saldana, and of course Cpt. Barbossa's (G. Rush) Aarrgisms.
Just short of a TD, it does score a FIELD GOAL.  The ending is my only issue.  Yes, dessert matters to any great meal.  Jack wheels and deals his fate so much from undead and back to the living in a blink.  This starts a bad trend that loses appeal for me as the sequels evolve.  When are you dead enough?  Not being able to kill off your main character permanently is repackaging ala Freddie Cougar, which Part 5 is proof of.

Pixels (2015) - Genre ?

Since I saw the previews, I was confused...  What's clear is that aliens are invading Earth using classic 80s video game tech.  Whaaat?...at least it's original, and I was raised on this stuff.  It is not clear until you see the movie more than halfway, too late, that it is a science fiction fantasy.
Yet, Pixels keeps overlapping into other genre strands.  It starts like a regular Adam Sandler comedy. Some post SNL and comedian peers join him, Aykroyd & Kevin James.  Suddenly, it becomes a science fiction drama with the invasion of well, the Centipedes arcade game; the survival of Earth is at stake.  Then, fantasy takes over when Q*bert becomes the pet dog in a tuxedo.  It's a love story too, as the Pixel Lady Lisa becomes human at the prayer of her obsessed fan since childhood, reverts back to Pixels, and lastly back to ?_____?.  It's doomsday; it's retro; it's semi-animation...help!
At least Tron (1982) gave prior warning that a human enters a video game world.  Pixels has potential with its very funny moments and video blasting battles.  Serena Williams and Martha Stewart dressed in lingerie await the fantasy of one of the Arcaders(P. Dinklage) in a bedroom.  Just when you sit back to enjoy the movie with such scenes, the film demands that we take another stretch.  At the make or break moment, the Cooper Ghost car jumps in reverse across an urban street to escape Pac Man and lands on the opposite building--too much to digest. Even my teens thought it was just o.k. after all the hype, so it recedes to the Losing 45 yd. line.

Alone (History Channel) - Best Nature Competition

This genre of 'reality T.V./ nature competitions' helped pioneer reality T.V. itself with the debut of the Survivor series on prime time.  I think Alone (Season 4), airing Thursday nights, tests the true character of people in the most entertaining way for us spectating from our comfy couches.  Being a backpacker myself, you don't really know what a person can tolerate until they spend some time in remote wilderness areas.
For most seasons, 10 people were placed in separate campsites on Vancouver Island.  This season, they innovated and 7 pairs are dropped AWAY from each other.  One person is hiking toward the bearing of his partner's stationary campsite.  The last one/pair standing wins the $500,000 prize. Vancouver Island is a rain forest, in frigid Canada, and has some of the highest concentrations of wild animals like cougars and black bears in the country.
People quit for all kinds of drama.  Some get injured badly, punch their tap-out devices at the sign of predators, hallucinate, take a dump in freezing water, cry for their loved ones, medical interventions, and just plain can't take the solitude.  So far, the three winners are not survivalist experts by trade--the reason for the suspense.
My balcony and I tend to root for the 'regular Joes' as the underdogs stumping the nature degree holders, rangers, and survival teachers.  We do this with anticipation and it makes for clean family T.V. time.  I really learn a lot from people's decisions and MacGyver-like ingenuity, so I will give this a FIELD GOAL.  

Mountain Men (History Channel) - Best off Grid

Mountain Men is on the History Channel in Season 6.  It airs on Thursday nights.  This is my favorite of the reality T.V./ 'bush people' genre.  They are living off the grid in the Alaskan wilderness.
Rich is hired to patrol ranches with his brave beagles.  He seriously injured his back in Season 5, when he fell off a tree.  That's because Rich goes on real thrilling cougar and bobcat hunts, where his dogs also get bloodied.
Eustace runs a lumber mill with his associate Preston.  He was also seriously injured with a concussion last season.  We have tracked their progress as they hauled their turn of the century saw mill engine and grew it into a business.
Marty is an airplane trapper.  He braves all the elements to fly further out to snare the furry critters. One time he made an overnight trek after he was stranded in a snowy forest and finally made it home.
Tom is the oldest one--a gnarled-faced but tough as oak trapper, living in a dream cabin with his wife. He takes us through the whole trapping process from preparing the traps up to tanning the hides and fur pelts the way the pioneers used to do it .
They're adding more rugged individualists the past couple of seasons.  These are all dying lifestyles which tamed the Wild West.  There are various other copycat shows, but these frontiersmen/women have a way of warming up me as the most believable and lovable.  I don't await to see it anxiously as other cable programs, so I place this up to the Winning 25 yd line.  It relaxes better than milk before bed.

Patriots Day (2016) - Tribute

I viewed this right after the 4th of July--a great choice for holiday free time.  Mark Wahlberg, asTommy Saunders, is a bona fide Bostonian himself.  The movie is based on the terrorist bombing of the 2013 Boston Marathon and the manhunt that followed afterwards.  My teenagers are already forgetting this happened.
Fortunately, director Peter Berg, a New Yorker, brings this national trajedy back to life.  He includes actual security and confiscated camera footage from beginning to end.  There is little censorship. Tennis shoes are soaked in blood, some rights are waived, and the ICUs are drilling off limbs and white-sheeting bodies.
The cast is too modest.  I'm a John Goodman fan and Kevin Bacon doesn't hurt. Yet, it could've been more hyped up to honor such a major event.  C'mon this was 911 with payback.  That leaves Wahlberg front and center.  He doesn't disappoint, but he needed more support.  Officer Saunders represents the masses as the blue-collar Mr. no-nonsense, leading the manhunt.  The Tsarnaev actors (Alex Wolff & Themo Melikidze) are as little known as the bombers themselves. The chase plays out as-is, which was most of the movie.
Drama was lacking.  It reads too much like a documentary.  Make it sting more in our memory; a major city resorted to martial law and limited scenes are given.   Also, it should show more about some of the extensive physical therapy that the victims had to endure.
Overall, it was a movie with a statement that rang clear, as only Big Papi could say it (footage incl.).  I rate this at the Goal Line, since it left me waiting to cheer in the end.

The Great Wall (2016) - Not so Ending

My children just came back from the actual Great Wall of China.  They said they were only allowed to walk on certain segments of the Wall.  This movie adds to that mystique of one of the Wonders of the World.  With Matt Damon (William), you know there's going to be plenty of action; not cultural interaction, so no expectations from me.  Two Europeans travel the Spice Roads in search of trading for "black {gun} powder" in the Empire of China. William's companion is Tovar (Pedro Pascal).  They learn that the Great Wall is not just keeping out Mongols, and they are forced to stay and fight against this monstrous enemy, the Tao Tei. The marketing created great anticipation, and when we finally see Tao Tei, they don't disappoint!
Kudos for the creativity of blending historical fact with fiction.  Movies are running out of authentic, alluring plots.  Matt Damon is in his typical "hero" role, as he stays to help instead of escaping.  The gadgetry and engineering were overkill, but allude to China's place at the peak of the ancient world.  The army was a color guard of synchronous harmony and acrobats.  That's Director Zhang Yimou for you, though, with his collection of mythical martial arts movies.
Unfortunately, the final solution is just another kill the queen and scatter the drones scheme. The ending gets worse and worse.  The hot air balloon trek was used like an air metro???  I don't like spoiling too much, so I must stop here.  Let's just say these Tao Tei were not automatons.  Did my children care?...,noooo.  If you blink, you miss major CGI effects.  You be the judge. Well, I have to score this on the Winning 35 yard Line, within scoring range, since most of the movie had great appeal.